


Thirteen Missed Calls

by odetospn



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Destiel - Freeform, M/M, Male Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-28
Updated: 2012-12-28
Packaged: 2017-11-22 17:52:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/612573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/odetospn/pseuds/odetospn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The prompt, "Pre-season 7; as in, Cass has not gone 'bad' yet/ever. Cliché fic where Dean realizes his ~feelings~."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thirteen Missed Calls

**Author's Note:**

> This fic takes place right after My Heart Will Go On and right before Frontierland. It is mostly non-AU but I added a few things for the sake of the story. 
> 
> Warnings: Obvious slash, swearing, mild violent imagery.
> 
> To: its_rayning for the Multi Fandom Gift Exchange.

Flinching at the sharp chirps that shattered through the silence of the night, Castiel ground his teeth together as he looked back down to his cell phone once again.

**_Calling: Dean Winchester_ **

Castiel sighed and shook his head, letting the phone continue ringing. He didn't want to betray Dean; in fact he'd spent an inordinate amount of time trying not to lie to him.

His deal with Crowley was… undesirable to say that least, but Castiel had to believe that what he was doing was for the better good.

He had to, because it was the only thing that kept him from going to Dean and telling him straight out that he'd been lying to him all along.

About Crowley, about how Sam had really been brought back, about everything. Castiel knew he couldn't though, because this information would not only leave the elder Winchester feeling betrayed, but angry, and when Dean got angry, he got even.

The angel had no doubt in his mind that even if was truthful about his deal with Crowley concerning the souls in Purgatory Dean would be in his beloved Impala and hunting down the King of Hell before Castiel even had the chance to finish speaking.

His rock solid conviction was a trait that Castiel both admired and despised about Dean's personality.

Sighing loudly to himself, Castiel stared somberly down at the offending item in his hand. It had been ringing almost nonstop with calls from Dean, none of which he could bring himself to answer.

He'd come close a couple times when the high pitched chirps of the cell phone had started to grate not only on his last nerve but also his resolve.

Thankfully, he'd managed to restrain himself from giving in to the clearly desperate attempts of contact from Dean and shoved the phone back into the deep pocket of his trench coat.

Finally, after almost ten straight minuets of incessant ringing the calls had come to a halt.

Castiel released a relieved sigh that he hadn't known he'd been holding in. Looking down at the small screen of the phone, he frowned.

 ** _13 Missed Calls_** it read boldly, flashing on the screen several more times before going dark.

He didn't delude himself into thinking that when the deal finally came to pass that Dean would be thankful and accept the angel back into his life with open arms.

No, he had no doubt in his mind that the hunter would hold a grudge for many years to come for his betrayal and deal with the devil, but it couldn't be helped.

If this is what he had to do to keep not only the Winchester's and Bobby, but the whole world safe from Raphael's clutches then it was a sacrifice that he was willing to make.

Castiel stared solemnly up at the clear midnight sky for a long moment before finally leaving.

**\----*----**

Dean let loose a growl of aggravation when he was yet again presented with the angel's message machine.

"Goddammit Cass, learn how to answer a damn phone! This isn't funny anymore." He snapped into the phone before forcefully punching the end button a little harder than necessary.

He was sick and tired of the elusive son of a bitch dodging his calls and he was especially tired of looking like some goddamn teenage girl by calling him over and over again. Dean had been trying to get a hold of Cass for days now and had yet to hear back from him.

Dean's once indignant anger had started to bleed into genuine worry. Cass had never ignored his calls this much before, whether they were by phone or prayer.

He was starting to worry that maybe something had happened up in Heaven with Raphael that was preventing the angel from picking up his damn phone.

Dean sighed and ran his fingers through his hair roughly.

That angelic bastard was going to be the death of him one of these days.

**\----*----**

Castiel knew that he was going to regret this, but it had been almost a month since he'd returned any of Dean's phone calls or prayers and he could sense the hunter's anger quickly ebbing away into worry.

Guilt had flushed though his vessel when he'd first sensed Dean's distress, knowing full well that it was because of him that Dean was feeling that way.

Castiel he couldn't in good consciousness –which at the moment was severely lacking- leave the hunter to worry about his safety.

Castiel took a deep breath, which when he thinks about it is rather unnecessary seeing as he doesn't actually need to breath to live, but it gives him comfort nonetheless.

Bracing himself for the inevitable onslaught of questions, shouting and accusations sure to great him on his arrival Castiel appeared inside Dean's hotel room.

**\----*----**

Upon his arrival, the hunter looked up with wide, startled eyes from the pistol he'd been cleaning at the slightly timid looking angel standing not six feet away from him.

"Hello Dean… I, uhm, I received you calls." Castiel stated lamely, mentally smacking his forehead at the stupidity of the words that had just nervously stumbled out of his mouth.

Thankfully he'd managed to keep a fairly calm demeanor and tone of voice, but on the inside was another story.

Several emotions passed across the hunters face. Shock, disbelief, anger, and for one second, though Castiel couldn't be certain, he could have sworn he saw a brief flash of hurt cross Dean's features before finally settling into an unreadable mask.

"Cass… you _son of a bitch!_ " Dean hissed out furiously.

Castiel flinched harshly at the words, expecting the insults and acts of useless physical violence to come.

Yet somehow Dean Winchester still managed to shock him as always when before he even had time to process what was going on the hunter was yanking the angel into tight hug.

Castiel went rigid with shock for three long beats before hazardously reciprocating the awkward –but none the less powerful- hug.

Feeling Dean's hard, sculpted body pressed up against his own caused Castiel to gulp a little to himself, willing his vessel not to respond… inappropriately.

Of all Dean's expected reactions, this certainly was not one of them.

If Castiel's surprised grunt as Dean yanked him into a bored-line violent hug was anything to go by, the angel was most likely just as stunned by his reaction as Dean was himself.

He'd just- no is hugging Cass. Why the hell is he hugging Cass?!

 _Because you thought he might dead not even five minutes ago and you're a gigantic sap?_ His douchey little inner voice offered.

 _Shut up!_ He thought back begrudgingly.

Castiel remained stiff against him for five long beat before hesitantly relaxing into the hunters tight grasp and awkward wrapping his arms around the hunter's torso as well.

They stood like this for almost a minuet before Dean decided it was time to nut up again.

Pulling back with a loud cough, they both stared at each other with twin expressions of wariness and uncertainty.

Dean abruptly decided to be the one to break this awkward stalemate.

"Where the _hell_ have you been the past month you jackass?" He snarled.

Castiel jumped a little, somewhat startled at Dean's drastic shift in demeanor, but not for long.

After almost four years of being around the Winchesters, he'd become somewhat immune to the emotional whiplash that plagued their lives on a daily basis.

Righting himself and standing a little straighter, Castiel cleared his throat.

"I was attending to pressing matters in Heaven and lost track of how much time has passed. I didn't realize it had been so long since I'd last contacted you, forgive me." He spoke quietly.

It still surprised Castiel how easily lying came to him these days. Dean stared at him with an expression that consisted of both disbelief and anger.

"You didn't realize? _Dammit_ Cass! I thought your ass might be mounted over Raphael's mantle and your excuse is you friggin _forgot_?"

Castiel nodded grimly, expression unchanging. "Yes Dean, please forgive me."

He noted the small note of desperation in his voice that came with those last two words.

Even though they intertwined themselves with the web of lies he was spinning, the held a deeper meaning on more levels then Dean could ever understand.

Dean seemed to take notice of this fact as well, though not fully understanding it at the time, and frowned.

His expression morphed into one of concern once again.

"Cass… Is there something you wanna tell me?"

The angel had to physically restrain himself from telling Dean everything at that exact moment. The look of genuine concern in the hunter's eyes was chipping away at his once steely resolve and Castiel knew that he needed to get out of there soon.

When he stayed silent, Dean's eyes furrowed deeper and he shook his head.

"If you got something to say, say it. Don't pussy foot around the truth for my sake; I can handle anything you got to say."

No, he couldn't. That much Castiel was certain of.

Shaking his head sadly, Castiel let his eyes slide guiltily away from the bright green eyes of the worried hunter.

"It is nothing Dean. I'm sorry again for not contacting you sooner, I will try to make sure it does not happen again. Good-bye." Dean's expression went from that of concerned to panic almost instantaneously.

"Wait- Cass, don't leave yet dam-"

He was gone within a matter of seconds with the somewhat frantic beat of wings.

"-mit. Fucking fantastic!" The hunter groaned out loudly to the empty room.

**\----*----**

Dean one was the first one to wake up the next morning, sluggish as he rolled out of the lumpy bed he'd just barely managed to fall asleep on.

Crossing his arms behind him and arching his back, Dean grunted in relief as he felt the telltale pops and cracks emanate loudly from his stiff spine.

Looking over at Sam's bed, he watched younger man shift lazily onto his side facing Dean and rub his face tiredly, eyes cracking open as he spoke in a rough voice.

"Get a hold of Cass yet?"

Dean reflexively tensed at the question before sighing in defeat and nodded.

"Yea, fat lot of good it did me, but yea."

Sam's eyebrows furrowed in question as he slowly pulled himself into a sitting position.

"What's that supposed to mean? Something going on with Cass?"

Dean snorted obnoxiously at that and nodded.

"Oh, definitely, not that the sneaky bastard would tell me what the hell it was though."

He cracked his fingers and shook his head in disgust. "I swear man, I dunno about you but I am _so_ sick of all the lying and bull that goes on between us. I mean, we're all still on the same side, right?"

Sam gave him a sympathetic look. "I'm sure he's got good intentions for keeping secrets Dean."

"You know what they say is paved with good intentions dude. We know that fact first hand."

Sam nodded solemnly before running a hand through his messy mountain of hair.

"Whatever it is, we just gotta hope that it does more good than harm, because we both know that Cass isn't just going to spill his guts if he does have a secret agenda going on behind the scenes."

Dean rolled his eyes and fell backwards back into the bed. Covering his face with his hands, Dean rubbed it tiredly.

He was getting way too old for this shit.

**\----*----**

"Hello angel, and how are you this fine day?" Crowley spoke with a small smirk.

Castiel gave him a dark glare before looking down at the vampire currently withering in pain on Crowley's slab.

A steady stream of dead man's blood was dispensed into the monsters blood stream through an IV drip, leaving it helpless to fight back.

"How has your progress on finding an entrance into Purgatory come along?" Castiel questioned gruffly, eyes not moving from the disfigured vampire.

"Just peachy, thanks for asking." Crowley sneered, voice dripping with sarcasm. "Don't you think that if knew anything that important I might've bloody told you by now?"

Castiel arched a condescending a brow at him.

Smirking a little, Crowley shrugged, looking unabashed. "Alright, maybe I wouldn't have, but all the same I haven't." Setting down the scalpel, he wiped his bloody hands off on the red splattered apron that covered his expensive looking suit.

"So, how are Frick and Frack these days? Angst riddled as ever I presume?" Castiel shot him another dark glare, anger rearing up at the mention of the Winchester's.

Taking note of Castiel's dark look, Crowley grinned cheekily. "That well, eh? Don't think I haven't seen you moping over your precious little Dean for the past bloody month in a half. It's downright sickening if you ask me." He muttered, picking up a buzz saw purposely and inspecting.

"No one did ask you Crowley, so I recommend you keep your opinions to yourself." Castiel ground out, defensiveness flaring throughout his body at the mention of the elder Winchester brother.

He'd become much more sensitive on the topic of Dean Winchester in the past few months then he cared to admit.

With a theatrical sigh and roll of his eyes, Crowley shook his head as he flicked the off switch to on. The buzz saw sprang to life, vibrating loudly in the demons hand.

"Whatever you say, darling. Now run along because my friend here and I have some work we need to attend to." Crowley murmured with a sadistic shine to his eyes as he slowly started to lower the buzz saw down towards the monsters chest.

A high pitched whine of fear erupted from the helpless vampire strapped down and it started to struggle weakly against its restraints.

Castiel had the good grace to feel a fleeting glint of sympathy for the pathetic creature before silently disappearing.

**\----*----**

"Dean? Dean!"

Dean jumped at the shout of his name, looking over at Sam with a flicker of irritation from the driver's seat of the Impala.

"What?"

"Dude, you've been zoning out none stop today. What's up with you? Still obsessing on Cass' dirty little secret?" Sam queried with an arched brow.

Tightening his hands on the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white, Dean sighed. "I'm not obsessing over anything smartass. I'm just being _quiet_ ; you should give it a try some time."

Sam snorted and rolled his eyes at that. "Oh, bull crap dude, you've been doing nothing but moping since your little falling out with Cass. Why don't you just call him down or something?"

"What the hell do you think I've been doing for the past month Sam? The son of a bitch doesn't ever answer any of my calls! He shows up one time to tell me that he _forgot_ to get back to me, acts all mysterious and shit and then _poof_! Gone." Dean shook his head in disdain.

"Well, as long as you're not obsessing."

Shooting Sam a scathing glare, Dean pressed down harder on the accelerator.

"Shut up, Sam."

"Seriously dude, I get that you're stressed out about the whole Cass situation, but we have bigger fish to fry right now." Sam sighed.

"You think I don't know that? With Eve riding our asses we gotta be on our game 24/7 until we figure out a way to plug that bitch."

"Exactly, so how does mooning about your angel factor into that again?"

"One, he's not my damn anything, and two, I repeat emphasis, _shut up_ Sam." Dean growled out.

Shaking his head again with another sigh, Sam looked out the window tiredly. "Our lives are really, really weird."

Laughing scornfully, Dean nodded in complete agreement. "You're telling me, dude"

**\----*----**

Dean held up the vial of phoenix ash, a slightly smug expression on his face.

"Well guys, we got it. Now we just gotta figure out how the hell to find the bitch and we'll be in business."

Sam and Bobby both stared at each other knowingly and Dean frowned, slightly irritated by their "we-know-something-you-don't-know" expressions.

Setting the jar down carefully, Dean narrowed his eyes on them suspiciously. "Sam? Bobby? Something you'd like to share with the class?"

They both glanced up at Dean carefully. "Dean, we've been searching our asses off for the past month trying to get a lead on Eve and so far bubkis." Sam said.

Dean looked hopefully at Bobby. "Luckily we have Bobby here to help us out with the grunt work when we reach dead ends. Isn't that right Bobby?"

The older hunter gave him a dry look. "I'm looking, but I'm thinking it's time you made a call."

Sam nodded in agreement.

Fiddling with a random red rag he'd picked up, Dean frowned even deeper defensively at the mention of the angel and held out' his arms in irritation.

"Why the hell does it always gotta be me who makes the call, huh? It's not like Cass lives in my ass, the dudes busy!"

Almost twin "I-told-you-so" expressions lit up both the hunters faces in front of him and Dean whirled around and stepped back at the sudden sound of wing beats behind him.

"Cass, get outta my ass!" He protested in a knee-jerk fashion, almost immediately regretting his choice of words.

Castiel's eyes went almost impossibly wide for a second, clearly not entirely certain of how he should respond to that. "I was never in- your-"

Dean gave Cass an odd look.

Looking down for a moment with a pause, the angel started again. "Have you made any progress in locating Eve?"

The three hunters looked at each other awkwardly. That definitely wasn't something they'd wanted to hear.

"Well, we were gonna ask you about that." Bobby admitted.

Castiel shook his head. "I've looked but she's hidden from me. She's hidden from _all_ angels."

Dean lifted and dropping his arms at his sides in frustration. "Awesome."

Sam piped up from the back thoughtfully. "You know, what we really need is an inside man."

Dean, Bobby and Castiel all looked at him in confusion.

"What do you mean" Dean asked.

"Something with claws and sympathy." Sam elaborated.

An expression of disbelief crossed Dean's face. "Like a friendly monster?"

Sam shrugged.

"Those are in short supply these days, don't you think?"

"Sure, but we've met one or two, right?"

"Maybe." Dean admitted warily.

"So… maybe we can find one." Sam finished.

**\----*----**

"Come on now, let's talk." Eve said sweetly, her smile just on the edge of smug.

Sam scoffed. "Nothing to say."

"Well, that's where you're wrong. I have an offer to make. Crowley…"

Sam and Dean both straightened up at that. "

As you know, not so easy to find him. Here's the deal; you find him, you bring him to me, I let you live." She finished with a pleased smile.

Sam and Dean both exchanged looks before Dean finally spoke calmly. "Pass."

"Dean-" Sam started.

"Sam, _no_. The answer is no." Dean said firmly.

Eve tilted her head lightly. "You say that like you have another option."

"Maybe I do, maybe I don't." Dean shot back instantly.

"You think?" Eve smirked.

The sound of a screen door being opened caught their attention and Dean and Sam turned to watch as Castiel and Bobby were herded into the diner, matching looks of anger and embarrassment on their faces.

Dean felt his stomach sink a little at the sight. Great, there went plan B.

"So much for your plan B." Eve said with a smile, and Dean swore mentally. He sure as hell hoped this bitch couldn't read minds, because if she could plan C was going to end really badly.

Thankfully, she didn't react to his thoughts, turning around instead to look at the angel. "And you, wondering why so flaccid? I'm older then you Castiel, I know what makes angels tick. Long time around, consider yourself… _unplugged_."

Dean and Sam both looked at each other warily. This wasn't looking good.

Turning back towards him, Eve smiled with a false sweetness. "So? What do you say Dean?"

"Beat me with a wire hanger, the answers still no." Dean said coolly. A sharp blur flashed around the room before Eve was behind the hunter.

The sight of her dangerously sharp nails digging into Dean's shoulders caused Castiel's heart to jump a little violently.

He knew this was all a part of the plan. He knew that. The plan to get Eve to become so angry with Dean that she bit him and ingested the phoenix ash that Dean had swallowed.

That didn't mean that Castiel was comfortable with the idea of Dean being infected with this monsters venom.

"Don't test me." Eve said in a soft, dangerous voice.

Turning his head slightly to the side, Dean gave her a rueful smile before growling back. "Bite me."

Eve's teeth were almost buried in Dean's neck, and he let out a loud pained grunt, eyes squeezing shut.

"No!" Sam shouted, struggling against the Jefferson Starships holding him back.

**\----*----**

"DEAN!" Castiel shouted with him, struggling as well with a sudden flash of irrational panic.

He knew in the back of his mind that when Eve was dead he would regain his angelic powers and be able to heal Dean completely of the bite, but at the moment this didn't bring him much comfort.

Eve wrenching back in a loud hiss of pain followed by gurgling broke through his haze of worry and Castiel looked up to see Eve start to choke furiously.

Holding his neck where he'd been bit, Dean smirked victoriously as he held up an empty bullet shell casing.

"Phoenix ash. One shell, one ounce of Whiskey, down the hatch." He said, mimicking taking a shot.

Eve glared hatefully up at him.

"Little musty on the after burn." Dean's cold smirk grew. "Call you later mom."

The moment Eve collapse dead at their feet the Jefferson Starships flew into a rage, starting to attack the three men and angel.

"Shut your eyes!" Castiel shouted, feeling his grace rush back into his vessel as he held up his arm.

The hunters wisely followed his advice and shielded their eyes.

With a brilliant flash of light followed by the pained sounds of the monsters dying, it slowly faded away. The floor was littered with all of the bodies of the hybrid monsters.

Walking around the bodies, Bobby mused lightly to himself. "We gotta take you on more monster hunts."

"Hey Cass, uh, Dean's bleeding pretty good." Sam said as if to remind him as he carefully inspected the fallen monsters corpses on the ground.

"Yea, I think she turned me into a Jefferson Starship. Could you clear that up to?" Dean mumbled, wincing and holding his hand to his neck a little tighter from his place on the stool.

Castiel felt his eyes flash up to meet Dean's almost instantly at the words, raising his arm and resting his hand lightly on Dean's shoulder.

Forcing himself to ignore the almost scalding body heat that rolled off the hunter just from the light touch, Castiel focused on allowing some of his grace to pass into Dean, healing him.

Pulling his hand carefully away from his neck, Dean nodded in satisfaction and thanks to Castiel before standing up.

"Alright, we're good. We need to go, now."

Castiel stared in confusion at Dean, tilting his head a little. Hadn't their main priority just been accomplished? "Where?"

Dean shuffled awkwardly, looking down for a moment before back up at him. "The kid…" Dean sighed out. At his blank stare, Dean elaborated with a clipped tone. "The little kid, he's one of them."

Confusion morphed into disbelief and outrage almost instantaneously. " _Unbelievable._ " He groused, giving Dean the best _"I-told-you-so"_ face he could muster.

"Yea, Cass, I know. You told me, let's just go!" Dean snapped back.

Giving Dean a dry look for a moment, Castiel shook his head in a relenting gesture before transporting them all out of the diner without another word.

**\----*----**

Dean stared silently at Sam's computer screen, punching awkwardly at the buttons. He was trying to do some research on Purgatory while Sam was out getting food when the small _whoosh_ of wings caused him to look up from the screen.

Dean looked up, about looked up, about ready to tear Cass a new one for bailing on him, but froze with a mix of shock and horror.

Cass looked terrible. Like he'd been thrown into a cage match with the Incredible Hulk as he swayed back and forth unstably, blood streaked down his face, trench coat, and basically everything else.

"Jesus Cass! What happened?" Dean shouted, immediately on his feet to grab Castiel carefully and lead his limping form over to the bed.

Castiel coughed harshly, a few specks of blood flying out and staining the dirty white carpet in front of him.

"R-Raphael's followers… somehow managed to… to track me down. They s-surrounded me… just barely-" The angel collapses into violent, wet sounding coughs again bending over to cough up some of the blood that was pooling in his throat. Dean had to wrap his arm around Castiel's side to prevent him from falling off the bed.

"Damn Cass, take it easy. Is there anything I can do?" Castiel shook his head weakly, giving Dean what he hoped somewhat resembled a reassuring look.

"My grace will help heal my vessel soon enough, I just needed some place safe to recuperate and…" His eyes awkwardly drifted away from Dean's, suddenly feeling a little contrite for turning to the hunter he'd been lying to for months for help. "You were the first person that came to mind. If you want me to leave I'd understand…"

Dean felt a sharp protective feeling rush through him and his arm tightened reflexively on Castiel's hip.

"Oh, for God's sake- _obviously_ I don't want you to leave dumbass. You're staying here for as long as you need to heal and I don't wanna hear another word on the subject." Dean said sternly, the command unquestionable.

He wasn't going to send Cass out in this messed up of a state. Hell, he couldn't send him away even if he wasn't this messed up.

Putting a steady hand on the angel's back, he sighed gratefully to himself as Castiel's soft sways finally stilled.

"Thank you Dean." Castiel said finally after a few moments of silence, and Dean started a little at how close the sound was.

Turning to face Cass, Dean felt his breath catch in his throat. Castiel's face was turned now towards his, the gash that had once laced over his brow and along his stubbeled cheek healed, but still decorated with drying blood.

Wide, expressive eyes stared into his with a brilliant light and Dean felt his heart clench a little at just how much Castiel seemed to truly care about him.

Dean hadn't realized how close they'd gotten, their faces now only a few inches apart as they stared silently into the others eyes, searching for something neither one was sure what was.

"Don't need to thank me Cass, I got your back." Dean finally managed out, almost absentmindedly but no less sincere. He'd always have Castiel's back. "Always."

Their faces were now mere inches away from the other, and Dean felt his heart start to race, the rapid sounding rhythm pounding in his ears.

"Cass." He said roughly.

"Dean." Castiel responded with equal amount grit in his already gravelly voice, sending sharp sparks throughout Dean's extremities. Where the hell was this coming from? This was _Cass_ he was perving on for Christ sakes!

That didn't seem to back a difference, because somehow in a matter of seconds they went from borderline stalker intense staring to their lips clashing together.

When their lips first met it was like an electric shock was being shot straight into Dean's veins, causing a small gasp to escape his occupied lips.

Apparently bolder then Dean gave him credit for, Cass took this as his opening to slid his tongue into Dean's mouth.

Dean groaned loudly in pleasure, wrapping his fingers in Castiel's short dark locks tightly and pulling him closer. Their lips glided together, tongues sliding together effortlessly as if they'd done this a hundred times before

One of Castiel's arms wound possessively around Dean's waist, pulling him tightly up against his side.

Tangling one of his own hands into Dean's short dirty blond hair, he tilted his head thoughtlessly to the side.

Dean groaned loudly in ecstasy at the sensation of the deepening kiss.

Dean finally had to pull back for air, sucking in a deep breath as he stared at the equally as stunned look angel who was currently molded to his side.

The angel's pupils were blown wide, making the deep blue irises look stormy with lust, hair in a state of disarray at Dean's thoughtless musings and clothes more ruffled then when he'd arrived.

Then reality came crashing back down. He'd just had a hot make-out session with Cass. _Cass!_

Appearing to sense Dean's impending panic, Castiel spoke softly. "Dean, calm yourself. If you want to pretend that… that this never happened, it's okay.

Dean's head snapped up in shocked. "What? You'd let me do that?"

A visible grimace flashed on Castiel's face, but was gone to quickly for Dean to be sure. The feeling of guilt that started to take root deep in Dean's stomach didn't offer much comfort though.

Castiel just nodded, once open and honest expression now devoid of emotion once again, making Dean's heart ache.

"Yes Dean. This was just a… mistake." A look of sadness entered the angel’s eyes and Dean felt like he'd just licked a puppy in the face.

"Cass-"

"No, Dean, I'm just- I need to go." Castiel said shakily, voice sounding smaller than he'd have liked. Before Dean could protest the angel vanished, leaving Dean alone in the motel room.

Dean let his arms drop to his sides, lips still tingling faintly from Cass' electrifying kiss.

He felt the seed of regret that had been planted earlier finally take full bloom in his gut, leaving him to only be able to stare helplessly at the spot where Castiel had once sat.

What the _hell_ did he just do?

Castiel slammed a fist through the solid brick wall in front of him.

"Stupid, stupid _stupid!_ " The angel shouted at himself, teeth clenched tightly.

How could he have allowed himself to become so out of control with Dean? To cut the already thin wire they'd been walking on?

Castiel growled in frustrating, running a hand roughly his hair, looking despondently around the dark, empty ally way.

He doesn't know how much more of this unbearable tension he can take, especially not now.

His feelings for Dean had been simmering under the surface for a long time and this incident had brought those feelings rushing to the surface almost instantaneously.

Crowley has been saying that he's getting closer to locating an entrance into Purgatory, and Castiel knew that no matter how much he tried the truth would not stay hidden from the Winchesters for much longer.

Dean, Sam, and Bobby will undoubtedly be outraged at his deceit, but most of all Dean.

Castiel wasn't naïve enough to hope for any relationship between the brothers as even a friend, much less as a… a _lover_ to Dean.

Castiel felt his throat tighten painfully at the thought, and even though he didn't need to breathe the sensation was far from welcome.

So he would continue on as things were, tense and heartbreaking as they may be, until he was discovered from the brothers and Bobby before shunned from their _family_ for his sins.

Castiel felt a single tear escape his eye, rolling seamlessly down his pale face, but his face remained emotionless as he stared blankly at the filthy gray stone wall in front of him.

He kissed Cass.

He fucking _kissed_ Cass!

Dean paced furiously in the tiny motel room, a whirlwind of emotions licking through his body.

A mixture of anger, guilt, fear, lust, and panic all warred against each other in his already far too mentally crowded brain.

He doesn't know what the hell he'd been thinking- if he's being honest Dean doesn't really believe that he'd been thinking at all at the time. He'd been a little too focused on Castiel's _tongue_ in his mouth.

Dean was terrified, and Dean Winchester didn't do terrified dammit. He was terrified that he'd fucked things up all to hell with Cass even more than usual.

That after molesting the poor angelic bastard Cass would finally realize what a loser he was and bail on Dean for good.

Then Dean remembered that Cass had reciprocated. He vividly remembers the sensation of Castiel's strong arms wrapping around his waist and pulling him tightly up against his form while he kissed the hunter senseless.

Could it be possibly? Could Cass really have the same twisted attraction to Dean that Dean had towards him?

Dropping his face into his hands Dean groaned loudly for the second time that night, though this time was decidedly less pleasant.

God damn, his life was messed up.

**\----*----**

It wasn't until a few days later that Castiel finally made his reappearance. He'd been in the middle of hunting down a lead for Crowley when he'd heard Dean call for him.

He'd been purposely ignoring Dean's previous calls, nothing feeling ready in the least to face him yet, but as time went by the hunters calls had become more of a plea and Castiel didn't have the heart to ignore them any longer.

Castiel took an unnecessary but nonetheless comforting deep breath before appearing the hunter's room.

"Cass, where the hell have you been man? This bailing out on answering my calls is getting real old dammit!" Dean shouted almost instantly upon his arrival.

Castiel flinched at the unadulterated rage in his voice, looking shamefully down at his shoes.

"Forgive me Dean. I needed some time to… process what occurred between us." Castiel said with a sad note to his voice.

Dean flushed awkwardly at Castiel's response, but his expression softened at the words. "You think I haven't been all messed up about this to Cass? Well trust me I have."

Dean's face became stern. "Dropping off the face of the Earth and ignoring my calls doesn't help anything though dude, so knock it off okay?"

Castiel nodded silently.

Sighing loudly, Dean shook his head and smiled a little. "It's good to talk to you Cass. I've missed you dude."

Castiel felt a warm sensation flood his chest at that small but genuine smile directed his way. "I've missed you to Dean."

Dean gave him a strange look for a moment, seeming to think something seriously through before speaking slowly. "Cass, you know you can always come to me when you need help, right?"

Castiel stiffened a little. "Of course Dean."

"I don't think you do." Dean said softly, and before Castiel had a chance to react Dean was in front of him taking Castiel's chin gently into his grasp and tilting his head up slightly to meet Dean's eyes.

"I know you've been hiding something big from me and I know I'll probably be mad when I figure out, but you need to believe that no matter what it is I'll still help you no matter how bad it is."

The urge to tell Dean everything was so powerful Castiel could barely stand it. "Dean-"

"No Cass, just listen. I know I reacted badly to the kiss, but trust me when I say I've had enough time to think about this."

Castiel's breath caught in his throat.

"I wanna give it a shot Cass. Our lives suck so much all the friggin time and if we have even a snowballs chance at being even a little happy then I'm willing to take the risk."

Castiel felt the last of his resolve fade away. "I feel the same way." He managed out roughly.

Dean released a long, relieved breath and for the first time in months he grinned wide and earnest down at the angel. "Thank fucking God."

Before Castiel could protest the slight blasphemy Dean's generous lips covered his own.

They kissed long and hard, wet mouths sliding together passionately for what seemed like hours before finally breaking apart with soft pants.

"I have something to tell you Dean. I have deep doubts that you will be pleased with me when I finish explaining the situation but… you really need to know."

Dean gave him a short nod and stared calmly down at Castiel. "Whatever it is Cass, we'll figure it out and get past it. We always do."

Castiel smiled a little and nodded in agreement.

Yeah, they really did.

**END**

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed. :)


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